A few tips on how to deal with online predators before meeting them, while conversing with them and after meeting them.
So you have been talking to this guy via Twitter DMs, Badoo or Zoosk, and there is a plan to go to see a movie together this weekend. Before you go, you might need to evaluate certain things.
It’s good to give people the benefit of the doubt, but avoiding being the victim of a fine looking, psychotic rapist is even better. You might need to work with us for the next 10 minutes.
Equally, staying alive is paramount, by any narrative. If you don’t know jiu jitsu or Krav maga or Kung fu, you are not alone. We certainly won’t leave you to suffer.
“Acquaintance rape” is a thing. While acquaintance murder is not yet a defined concept, people get killed by familiars.
What is acquaintance rape?
This is simply rape perpetrated by a familiar person. One of those perpetrators could be a date.
Recently, a man named Daniel Drayton was arrested for killing 7 women he met through dating sites.
Twitter is practically a dating site these days, and being easy target helps nobody.
Before we say “love”, that cool, attractive guy with the dope avi is already in the DMs, circling the beautiful lady, whom all men desire.
You need a defence strategy. All is not what it seems. The internet and websites that promote conversations and interactions are hunting grounds for predators. You cannot be prey.
For this reason, here is a list on tips to avoid predators on social media;
1. Control the content and people you entertain
Desire and attraction are a funny thing. We cannot shame the women who have fallen victims to these predators. Some of them thought they were meeting good guys.
You should not become paranoid, but you might want to check the people you interact with, that you might end up going out with it.
2. Watch out for red flags
Yoruba people say “èéfí ni ìwà”. It roughly translates to character is easily discernible.
While some of these guys are smooth and effortless charmers, you can find the red flags if you are vigilant enough.
There is no need to become obsessively meticulous, but it wouldn’t hurt to not dive straight into this crazy without background checks and necessary awareness.
If he’s too particular about knowing what’s going in with you, that’s a red flag. If he’s possessive and territorial, that’s a red flag. If he gets mad when you don’t reply messages on time, that’s a red flag.
He doesn’t care, he’s obsessed.
3. Do not reveal your address before physical contact. Be vague with your address.
Revealing your address to every man on the internet makes you easy target. The best answers are about landmarks or popular areas around you. For example, you might say you you live at Berger instead of saying you live at Ifeanyi Uba Crescent, Omole Phase II. Fam, don’t do it.
If you say Omole Phase II, these disturbed individuals stalk the estate for months at a time. They can be obsessive. Women are like sport and conquests to them. Stay woke.
If you happen to get into deep conversation with these questionable characters, do not panic. He can’t reach you if he does not know your address.
Arm yourself with that firm “NO!” and say it clearly. These people have thing for taking vague negative signals as part of “the chase”.
Be hard with the no, be clear and be concise. Make him know his advances and his messages are no longer welcome.
5. When he is not taking no for an answer
Block him. It’s that simple.
If you have already gotten personal with these people or you are intertwined in their web and you can’t seem to unwrap yourself, it’s no cause alarm. There’s always a solution.
Source: Motolani Alake @Pulse.ng